I had an anxiety attack last night.
Today is my 30th birthday.
The good news is I didn’t wake up dead, but today has been a little bit of an adjustment…mostly just a mental adjustment. Kind of like 20…but more important.
I started the weekend leading up to the big day spending it out of town with a friend–well, a guy I kind of dated for the better part of a year–but “friend” nonetheless.
Anyway, the weekend was great. He pampered me all weekend. Dinners, movies, breakfast/medicine in bed (I woke up sick Saturday), movies, brunches, shopping. Because of a huge event going on in his city this past weekend, we tried to spend as much time out of traffic as we could. We even gamed for a few hours. It was fun, it was chill. We got along perfectly well. Our conversation(s) never ran dry. He gave me his undivided attention. I felt completely relaxed and comfortable. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time (with anyone).I really MISS that. As sweet as he was being this weekend, part of me is making an effort to be more emotionally mature and not completely latch on to this situation for much more than a weekend visit. Whatever will be, will be.
I took the day off of work today (my actual birthday), mostly because I knew being at work would have sucked the absolute life of me (it’s been a crazy couple of weeks and I don’t feel like getting into everything in this post). Until today, I’ve never even had my birthday off. I’ve always been in school or at work. It nice to have a day to myself. It was a quiet day, but relaxing. I got up and went to Denny’s for a FREE breakfast, went grocery shopping and then met up with my parents for lunch (also had a free coupon for birthday food), a movie and dinner. Sure, I could have gone to the moon and back drunk off my ass, but I wanted to bring this birthday in a little more calmly. Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf…well, until later this month when I finish bringing in my birthday with a weekend of insanity with some bffs of mine out of town. Hey, I still have some ridiculousness to shake out of these bones.