He and I were having a casual dinner out Sunday night at one of
our his favorite BBQ places. The night was young, “America” was all in the air, the brews were flowing and there he sat…dicking around on his goddamn phone.
At first I kind of let it go, because after all, we just spent the ENTIRE day together (which was fun), not to mention most of the previous day together as well (which was also amazing), so what’s a little thumb action on the phone, eh?
Well, 15-20 minutes later the fucking thing is still in his face, he hasn’t uttered a word and I’m like:
This continues until our food comes. By the time our food got there I was infuriated. I’ll blame most of this on PMSing, but at least 30% of my anger was actually rightfully due to being offended. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I believe when you are out with someone, romantic or not, you should FOCUS on engaging and interacting with them in real time, especially if you don’t see them on a regular basis.
It drives me crazy now a days how this has become more and more “acceptable” in society to be so “connected”. People are attached to their fucking phones like a ball and chain and it’s sickening. I remember 10-12 years ago (I’m really aging myself now), I could go out with my friends and we would actually spend time with each other. We only involved our phones to CALL each other to make plans TO hangout. At sixteen, my parents gave me a phone in case of car troubles (I drove a 25 year old car at the time) and I had to be FORCED to use it, because I would never use it or even turn it on. I don’t think I regularly started using my phone for texting or otherwise until I was at least a sophomore in college, but even now it just seems inappropriate to play around on my phone while I’m out with someone, because I know I can’t possibly dick around on my phone that intently AND fully engage myself in a face to face conversation at the same time.
I get that we’re in the age of technology, but I feel like our interactions with each other have become shapeless in a way, because we’re always so anxious to stay connected, to look something up, to know what’s going on, on our phones, instead of what’s going on right in front of our faces. I’m guilty of it from time to time too, but I’ve been really trying to make a conscience effort to do not do it when I’m out people. ESPECIALLY people I genuinely like spending time with.
Sorry for the tangent, there…
I didn’t bring up my annoyance with him being on his phone at dinner that evening (even though he could tell something was wrong by how quiet I was being the rest of the night). I would have been too upset and might have approached the situation in less of a logical way, so I waited until I the following day after breakfast when I was showered and well rested. We discussed it and he was extremely apologetic about the entire situation. Turns out he hadn’t even realized that he was doing it. He explained that he at times has “tunnel vision” or can be “obsessive” over things to the point of blocking everything else around him out. What was he being “obsessive” about? Building a computer and researching the parts to order online. Which he admitted to the fact that he really could have done that at ANY time. He made sure to go on and on and on the rest of the day about how much fun he has when we’re together and how he really appreciates my company and how he can’t wait until we see each other again.
Ok, that was nice…I just want him to make it a point to not do that again, at least not going on twenty minutes straight.
Oddly enough, I spoke with my mom about this earlier tonight and she didn’t see what the big deal was. This guy can literally do nothing wrong in my mom’s eyes, I swear. Yes, my mom, who is almost 60 said this to me. My mom is also more active on social media than I am, so there’s that. I bet you if she was speaking to me I was on my phone for twenty minutes straight, she wouldn’t agree so much then, would she?
I smell a challenge.