This is probably my first post of the New Year. Happy New Year!
The Holidays (for me, Christmas and New Years) all sort of blurred together in a beautifully chaotic way. I was successfully able to spend an equal amount of time with family, friends, The Teacher and myself (as in, having time away from everyone to just CHILL).
I brought in the new year somewhat quietly. I ended the year with a lovely dinner date sushi with The Teacher, some [retracted] 😉 , and a simple champagne toast & drinking/kissing at the stroke of midnight. While none of that may seem like that big of a deal, I’ve admittedly not had a “New Year’s kiss” in ages. It felt nice to have someone TO kiss at midnight.
You know, I don’t believe I brought in 2019 wearing actual pants now that I think about it…just my underoos.
Having a lowkey New Years set the tone for me in starting this new year. This is the year is about focusing my energy appropriately. I found that part of my reoccurring frustrations from 2018 came from overextending myself to the point of not leaving room or time for simple moments of self-reflection and relaxation. This seemed to be a constant theme throughout year (and a root of my unhappiness and stress) and one I’m trying to work on in this year. I need to take more time for ME. I’ve always found myself quick to say “yes” to everything for fear of being seen as a bad friend/girlfriend/daughter/employee/cousin/niece/etc , but I’ve come to the realization that’s it’s ok to say “no” and turn things down. It doesn’t make me a “bad” person, it makes me a wise person for realizing my need for rest and relaxation. A rested me is a much happier me.
Now, making commitments in advance and constantly backing out of them last-minute is not what I’m talking about here. That is what I consider to be flaky behavior and is most DEFINITELY an unfavorable quality in anyone, especially a friend. By saying “no”, this is typically an up front decisive and tactful “no“, not an “I changed my mind in the 11th hour”, or “I’m going to be wishy-washy for no particular reason”, “no”.
The New Year has also been gracious enough to also bless me with this sinus/virus non-sense from hell.
I woke up on New Year’s Day with my throat on fire and I’ve been considerably sick ever since. I rarely get legitimately sick enough to even reference it, but this virus has been going strong now for a solid 11 days. Eleven. Days. What started out as a “common cold” has now progressed into some serious respiratory issues and globs of yummy mucus (TMI, I know) and has beat me to a bloody pulp. My entire body is achy all day long, I’m constantly coughing up GOD knows what, I’m exhausted and I can’t regulate my body temperature to save my life (I go from burning up to freezing cold in minutes). I’m usually super woman and shrug off the “common cold” and go about my business, but I found myself literally cradled in The Teacher’s arms like a helpless baby this past Saturday, wrapped up like a little burrito, shivering uncontrollably and whining about not feeling “well”. I like to joke that he’s quite the baby when he’s sick (he was sick with a similar virus right before Christmas and is just now getting over it), but I’m going to go ahead and say I definitely took the cake this weekend with my performance. Lucky for me, The Teacher is just as much of a nurturer as he is a baby.
Outside of that, I’ve mostly been taking it easy and trying to set some realistic goals for this year. Yes, I’m one of those people who use the start of a new year as an automatic “reset”, because, what better time to “start fresh” than the start of a new year? There are loads of things I’d love to do to “better myself”, but to ensure that these goals are met, I’ve got to narrow them down a bit. Ideally, I want this to be the year that I finally get my finances in order. I’m making more money than I ever have, so it would be wise of me to adjust my budget in a way that allows me to save more money to build up my savings (which took quite the hit last year with unforeseen car repairs). There was a time I wanted to buy a house, but at this stage in my life, I don’t think that’s feasible. It just doesn’t make sense. The more I think about it, the more I realize I’m just not ready. It’s a huge responsibility and one that I’d prefer to tackle once I feel 100% secure in my finances–well secure in my finances and possibly something to do with a partner (because two incomes go further than one). For now, I’d just like to focus on paying off my car loan (only a few months to go), taking the money I WOULD be paying for my car and throwing it in savings, paying off/down credit cards, and student loans and doing better about sticking to my budget.
As for all of the other things I referenced…I’ll get to them… They’ll be present in my mind for now.