A Pre-Proposal?

Yesterday, post some fun activities, The Teacher (as he’s been doing for a few weeks now) playfully removed my ring from my right ring finger. He jokingly pretended he was going to throw it across the room or intentionally lose it. My response to this silliness has simply been:

If you lose it, just make sure to buy me another one.

Except this time, he didn’t just hand it back.

You seem to really like this ring. Is that what you want? Another ring for Christmas?

At this point in the conversation, I wasn’t entirely sure what definition of “ring” he was really referring to. His tone seemed to be a bit more serious than previously, so was he referring to THE ring?

I nervously laughed and just said,

sure–I’d like a ring for Christmas, if that’s what you feel like buying.

He smiled and agreed to add it to his mental Christmas list for me, but then continued on to say:

…But I was planning on giving you ANOTHER type of ring around our anniversary.

OMG.gif

I remember turning over slightly to look him in the eyes to see if hew as serious (I was previously laying my head on his chest).

Oh? Is that so? And just what TYPE of ring?

He smiled and went into this explanation on how he had been planning on giving me a ring (THE ring) a few months from now because it will mark our 2 year anniversary and what better way to celebrate our commitment to one another and to move to the next level in our relationship than to get engaged.

overcome with happiness

I was admittedly a bit taken aback and apologized if I spoiled what I assumed was something he wanted to be a surprise. He claimed that the “act/event” of giving me the ring itself would still be a “surprise”, but that he wanted to inform me several months in advance because he wanted to know my ring preferences. Admittedly, outside of the fashion rings I occasionally wear, I’ve really never thought about it and I’ve especially not discussed my ring preferences with him at any point.

I’m both shocked and relieved, if that’s even possible. Lately, I’ve had a bit of the marriage mouse nipping at me and reminding me how everyone and their brother has been getting married and having babies and I’m not getting any younger (social media is to blame for that). Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy with the state of my current relationship, but sometimes an overload of those life events can get in your head. I’ve very recently (maybe in the past few weeks) started to think about what it would be like to be married to The Teacher and now I realistically get to put real thought into it. Like, will I change my last name? Where would we get married? Who would we invite? I’m almost afraid to get excited about it, so maybe I’ll pull back on all of that for right now.

I’m also surprised that he just flat out told me that he plans to propose specifically “around” our anniversary…which is in four months! The anticipation of that moment is now going to eat away at me for the next few months. I also feel kind of weird picking out a ring (though I appreciate him considering my opinion, since he said, “you’re the one that will be wearing it after all” ). How do I even do that? Do we do that together? Do I go alone to a store? Do I just google images online and text/email them to him? Are pre-proposals even a thing? Do couples sort of alert one another that they plan to propose, but a few weeks or months down the road? Granted, we’ve discussed that we both believe in marriage and that we’d hypothetically like to be married (someday), but until last night, nothing was ever explicitly said about the specifics.

All I know is, I at least have some heads up about it and can plan accordingly–i.e. I can make sure I don’t look a raggedy mess when the time comes and I can make sure to have my nails done. Will I still be shocked though? I suppose I’d be shocked regardless.

Life Has Been Grand

I can’t believe it’s been six months since I last blogged! I guess life just got away from me these past few months and I didn’t make it a point to slow down and update it.

surprise

For the most part, life has been good. There have been several changes and additions to my life that I feel very comfortable with.

Home Sweet Home

Living with The Teacher, has been amazing so far and we’ve managed to compromise and create routines to keep us both happy and engaged in the experience of sharing a home. For example, we make it a point to have dinner together every night unless one of us is out of town. Regardless of how busy or tired we are, we always sit down over dinner to spend time together. We also make a point to have at least one formal date night (in the sense that we’re specifically going out or staying in with the purpose of spending dedicated and uninterrupted time together)

We have also done well with tending to our “alone time” for hobbies and decompression. With The Teacher, his “alone time” is usually spent playing video/computer games, reading and grading, while mine has been binge watching shows that I know he has no interest in, taking walks and on very rare occasions, writing.

We’ve definitely grown a lot as a couple over the past six months and I look forward to growth continuing.

New Ride

After months…well, YEARS of living in fear of being stranded during my long-ish commutes, I finally bought a new (to me) suv It’s a Candy Apple Red 2017 RAV4 SE with black leather seats and a sunroof. It’s been a pretty fun suv so far and I’ve wanted one for a few years now. I purchased the RAV4 on somewhat of an impulse on a random Monday I took off from work for rest and relaxation. I had been casually researching suvs online and came across the RAV4 in my search. It was reasonably priced and had all the features I was looking for, so I drove 45 minutes out of town to test drive it and ended up buying it. I initially told no one that I bought it until I pulled into the driveway to surprise The Teacher with the news later that afternoon. He was quite surprised, especially since he had been nagging me to buy a new car over the past year.

Mental/Sexual Health

I’ve had some ups and downs over the last few months mental health wise, but I’ve started to pay more attention to my triggers and have found healthier ways to distress (like reading, writing, walking, resting). For instance, I’ve made it a point to take at least 2-3 days off per calendar month and so far, I’ve done well with that promise to myself, which has given me some much needed mental breaks from the chaos that is my job. I try to make it a point to have at least one of the 2-3 days spent doing very little planned activities. I’ve primarily tried to make it a point to stay at home and relax when I can.

My sexual health has been a tad bit better lately as I think my hormones night be trying to settle down (fingers crossed). I still find myself spotting more than I’d like (which is annoying), having the occasional and unexplained mood swings, cramps and occasional breakouts, but I’ve learned to live with them and have adjusted some of my self care routines to address some of the side effects. The peace of mind knowing that the probability of an unplanned pregnancy is highly unlikely, seems to set me straight whenever I get discouraged by the side effects (especially because we weren’t being careful early on). I will say that it worries me a bit that when it comes time to remove the implant (in a little over two years), will I struggle to conceive (should I want to), because I’ll have hit the age of being considered a “geriatric pregnancy” and complications will ensue.

Bonding and Family Acceptance

Over the past six months, I’ve been able to spend more time with getting to know the Teacher’s family. I’ve grown to really like them and from what I can tell, they seem to enjoy my company as well, which is a relief. About a year ago, I was nervously on my way to meet his father for the first time and now we’re on a first name basis. About two weeks ago, we spent the weekend with his mom and I really got to spend a lot of one on one time with her, which was lovely.

The Teacher has also spent more time with my parents and even came with me to a mini family reunion on my mom’s side of the family around The 4th of July. My family was very welcoming to him and he seemed to genuinely have a great time. I know meeting someone’s extended family can be particularly scary, because you really have no way of knowing (or controlling) how they’ll feel about you.

The Future

Lately, we’ve been invited to or involved with numerous milestones from friends. Weddings, Bachelor/Bachelorette Showers, Baby Showers, Engagement Parties, etc. For each milestone, it sort of makes me wonder what reaching those milestones might be like or if it’s too soon for me to even consider thinking about them. There was a time where I couldn’t realistically envision any of those things happening to me, but now they seem somewhat attainable.

Recently, The Teacher has shown a heightened interest in a ring that I wear infrequently on my right ring finger. The ring is silver and a bit on the plain side. Each time I wear it, he’ll comment on it, remove it from my hand and examine it closely. Sometimes he’ll playfully toss it around, which has made me warn him not to lose it. His response, “Well, I’ll buy you (another) one”. Perhaps I’m reading too much into this, but he rarely shows interest in the other jewelry I wear–even pieces that he’s given me. This also isn’t the first time I’ve worn rings, I’ve worn them here and there since we’ve been together.

Update : My speculations were true! Last night, The Teacher told me that he plans to give me “another kind of ring” around our anniversary (in four months). His reasoning? He says the two year mark seems like the perfect time. He also said he wasn’t really going to keep his plans a surprise much longer because he needs my help on selecting the right ring 💍 .

Welp, hopefully I do a little better about blogging and less time stuck in la-la land.