So as I mentioned in my last post, I’m sort of stating to consider the idea of dating again. In the famous words of my ex, “I reallllllyyyy don’t like dating”, and my famous response, “well, no one does, but it’s a necessary evil…”Anyway, I had a date of sorts this past weekend. Well, I wouldn’t really consider it a date, but I think the guy inviting me out (for coffee) did, so I just went along with it. We met the weekend before and briefly chatted before exchanging numbers. I figured, “why not? He seems decent enough”.
(by the way, I do not like or endorse DT at all)
Originally, our “coffee meeting” was set for Saturday. I planned my busy day around this meeting and sandwiched it in between two other engagements. An hour and a half before said meeting, I get a text from him asking if we could postpone until the following day because he forgot that he had a, “conflict”. While I thought it was a little weird since I completely let HIM plan this (since he asked me out) by picking the place, the day and the time…I’m flexible and understanding enough, so I agreed to push it back.
Sunday, we finally meet up in this busy coffee shop right across the street from the university here, so of course it was ridiculously crowded and there were absolutely no seats available inside. After grabbing coffee (he paid), he suggested we sit outside. MIND YOU, it was MAYBE 19 or 20 degrees by this point in the afternoon, with a wind chill of maybe 7 or 8.
I went along with it anyway and we sat down to chat. All through our conversation, I couldn’t help but to notice that he seemed somewhat nervous. At first he wouldn’t say much, but eventually warmed up and elaborated on his responses. He kept asking me really broad questions like, “so tell me more about yourself” — which sidebar rant: I HATE when people ask me this question. This is a terrible question to ask. It’s too abstract. Drilling down to ask more focused questions like, “what do you do” or “what are some of your hobbies” invoke more of a solid, meaningful and intelligent response, in my opinion. Besides, if you asked someone out, you are obviously interested in SOMETHING about them, so go with that?
Anyway, since I’m not a super narcissistic person, I decided to break it down into segments, “so, this is what I do for a career…” and we’d chat about our jobs and laugh about how crazy they were at times. I’d then say, “…and since you wanted to know more about me, these are some of my hobbies or things i like to do when I’m not a slave to my job”, and we’d talk about our hobbies and laugh. I tried to be silly and keep a sense of humor to help him feel at ease and that seemed to help out a lot in the flow of our conversation. Towards the end of this meeting, he asked what the upcoming week was like for me and if I wanted to pick a day to get together again.
Whoa dere guy.
While I’ve been on “dates” before where planning a second date came up in conversation (my ex and I actually did this on our first date, but it worked because there was a “spark” and we obviously really liked one another), it usually seemed more natural and was obvious that both parties sincerely felt a connection. I didn’t really feel that with him. Not that I didn’t like him, it just seemed a little difficult at first to get a steady conversation going. Being a bit shy (at times) and introverted, I can understand and I figured perhaps he’d be different the second time around so I decided to take him up on his offer. He walked me back to my car, we hugged and said goodbye. We texted back and forth that evening over random memes and jokes that we both referenced in conversation, but that was it. So last night, I’m minding my own grown ass business, when I get a text from him…
Hey, sorry I’m just getting to say hello to you today. Work has been insane. But hey, much later after our date, I realized that you remind me of my ex and I’m looking for something different, so I’m going to cancel Thursday. I’m so sorry.
But no, you’re not “sorry”, you’re rude, reckless and indecisive and here’s why:
So you mean to tell me, he asked for my number, he asked me out, he dictated where we went and when he changed those plans last minute, he stammered through two hours worth of conversation (where he had us out in the bitter ass cold), he asked for a second date and proceeded to plan it while still on our first date and he realized AFTER everything, that I reminded him of his EX?!!
Ok, first of all, if I went on a date with someone who, “reminded me of my ex”, I probably would have picked up on it pretty quickly. Second of all, so as long as the person didn’t have the negative qualities of my ex, I probably wouldn’t care that much, because in the big grand scheme of things, I don’t have an issue with him as a person (well ok, so maybe other exes I might have a problem with, but still). Third of all, that’s just a really rude and flighty thing to do to someone…Like, WHO RAISED YOU?, but I digress.
Be a better person than this guy in 2018. Please.
I doubt it would have went anywhere anyway and if I’m being 100% honest, I was really just being nice for the sake of being nice. I didn’t see a connection there. It’s just the principle behind it though that’s kind of annoying.
Ha. I started to reply to his text, but then didn’t. It’s a waste of energy really? I’m trying to do this thing in 2018 where I don’t entertain anything that interrupts my peace. I can’t even really get mad about this because it’s literally the most silly and ridiculous thing I’ve had to deal with all year (a smooth 9 days in).
So there you have it. I guess I’m in this silly thing again. Boy, do I have tons of “exciting adventures” to look forward to 🙃. Can’t wait…