You know what’s annoying?
No, not these flakes:
Not these either…
These are mildly annoying…
But ok…It’s PEOPLE who flake That are ultimately super annoying to me. Now I’m going to keep it real, I don’t always make it to all of my “commitments”, but I usually try to keep my word unless there is a dire need to cancel (illness, mental/emotional/physical exhaustion, emergencies, etc). As an introvert, someone with a hectic/demanding job AND someone with bouts of anxiety/depression, I get having moments pop up where you just need to cancel plans, but I try not to make a habit of agreeing to do something and then canceling last minute over and over and over. It’s tired.
The act of flaking per se, doesn’t bother me. Shit happens. What bothers me is when someone becomes a HABITUAL FLAKER. It just becomes ridiculous because after so many occurences, it just makes you look like a really shitty friend/family member/co-worker, etc. I feel like people make being a decent human being a lot harder than it really is. Say what you’re going to do, follow through with it (AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN) and press on with life. Dassit. Simple science.
I have this friend who is more reliable as a flake than they are in any other sense of the word and I can’t really even get angry at her at this point because it’s laughable. Whenever she agrees to show up when we’re all hanging out or meeting up, I almost always assume she’s going to flake out and 97% of the time she does. It’s her “thing” I guess and I no longer take it personally because I just anticipate it and have come to accept the fact that she not a reliable person, which is sad, because no one should have to make excuses for why their friends are being shitty friends and “live with it”.
The funnier part here is that she’ll occasionally reach out and want to do things around town, which is awesome because I’m always up for adventure! In the past, I used to always make it a point to be supportive and join her, but fairly recently (as of maybe this past month) I find myself never giving her a definite confirmation that I’ll be there. “Sounds fun, I’ll see.” or, “I’ll let you know” and then I DO let her know that I’m not going and I don’t feel bad about it. I just don’t feel like carving out time in my day for it. I don’t feel like I need to feel obligated to be a loyal or supportive friend to someone who flakes as much as she does. There is a difference between AGREEING to doing something and flaking out last minute and simply never agreeing to go in the first place. You want consistent loyalty in your friends, be a good friend. Keep your word. Show up to shit. Be a better friend. Period. End of discussion.