I’ve mentioned up here a few times about how I’ve met all over this wonderful people post breakup (back in November). Sure, some of the people I met through other friends or through random circumstances, but I’ve met a great deal of them through Meetup.

Now, I’m not going to get up here and plug Meetup (because they are not paying me to do so), but it’s been a great tool to flesh out my social circle a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I love and adore all of my friends equally, but there are certain hobbies I like to do or places I want to go/things I want to experience that may not appeal to all of them and that’s fine. Plus, once you kind of get out of college, making NEW friends outside of your social circle and work environment can be a little more challenging.

Meetup is just like its name says…it’s a “meet up”. You use the site to join “meetups” (groups) and RSVP to “events” that group is putting on. All of the “meetups” have “hosts” (some have one host others have several) that organize and post the events to members. Some have “meetups” weekly and others more sporadically or in more of an ad-hoc sense. Pretty much every group’s purpose is to help its members to branch out and meet new like minded folks. It’s great for people who have recently moved to town or just for people who may be a little shy or even newly single (hey, that’s me). Shortly after the break up, I was feeling really down in the dumps and really lonely (I don’t want to link to this because the post was extra sad). I probably spent at least two weeks just going to work and sleeping. I also wasn’t eating and was just barely getting through work each day. I was on autopilot. It didn’t help that during this time, I was for whatever goofy reason still seeing my ex (for lunch, coffee, etc), which was a bad idea because he also looked like death warmed over. It just made everything hurt that much more because we were both sad and it enhanced my sadness to see him like that. Yeah, I did a lot of sleeping and can’t remember a good chunk of that time period. I was not in a good place emotionally. Anyway, after having a bit of an emotional spaz fest around Thanksgiving, I decided I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back to living my life, but that I needed to live my life a bit differently and maybe try and do things I hadn’t done before to keep my mind off of being sad. I figured, what better way to do that than to pick up a new hobby or two and the rest is history.

I now have an additional social circle of friends that I regularly spend time with even outside of our regular meetups. We usually do a few things outside of meetup weekly and lately over each other’s places. It’s been so much fun getting to know them. They really helped me get through a dark period a few months ago and even more of a bonus, many of them had also just gone through breakups, so we were all kind of healing and leaning on one another to get better. It’s been great.

Aside from all of the positives that have come from meetup, like meeting new people that have become great friends, brushing up on various hobbies of mine, venturing out to new places in the area that I’ve never been to and getting a different perspective on life in general, it has also come with some negative aspects. One of which being the amount of men two stepping into my message box (yes, there is a messaging feature in meetup. Think of it like email).

Typically, the message function is supposed to be used by organizers to communicate with group members about events, but sometimes can also be used to communicate with members in your group…but for whatever reason lately, I’ve been inundated with messages from guys hitting on me, asking for my number, flatout asking me out on dates— sir, WTF?!

First of all, yes meetup could be used as a tool to date and or meet your next S.O., especially if you join a meetup geared towards that (like speed dating, singles groups/outings, etc), but cold messaging somebody out the fucking blue that you don’t even know or have never even seen in person is a little bold for my taste. It’s also bold to assume that person is not already in a relationship or at the very least actively dating. I could be an asshole and print screen these messages up here, but I don’t think that’s necessary. It’s just annoying. I don’t even have a racy photo on meetup. I’m literally in a sweater and jeans and my hair is frizzy. I think I took the photo in my bathroom. I personally think I look like a bum.

I will summarize two message exchanges I’ve had up there within the past month:

  1. One guy messaged me because we were in the same meetup group (not one I’m active in) and then further into the conversation asked if any of the groups I was a member of indicated if I was single. He then proceeded to ask me if I was “into older men”…Gross. No, dude.
  2. Another guy (just earlier this week) sent me some long message asking if I had seen black panther (which I have). Then further along his lengthy message asked me out on a date to go see the movie and wanted to know if I wanted to do dinner after, “my choice”. NO. WTH.
  3. Another guy after asking me about a meetup asked me to send him more photos of me and drop my digits. SO FULL OF NOPE.

Obviously, the meetups that I share with these guys (if any at all) are not ones I’m even active in or are meetups that are dormant and I’ve just been too lazy to remove them from my profile.

But jazzedout, you’ll date someone online, what makes this any different?


What makes this different is that I’m actively choosing to use online dating as one of MANY tools to date.  I am not actively choosing to be borderline harassed on a social website. Meetup is not specifically meant for online dating (exclusively anyway–it is not a dating website) nor is my entire reason for using it meant for dating. If you just so happen to date someone you meet through meetup, great, but cold messaging people is a bit creepy. Secondly, if I am online dating and I decide to meet that person IRL, we’ve usually spoken quite a bit and feel comfortable enough with one another before even moving to that stage. I’ve never been one to be like, “hey, this guy I know NOTHING about just asked me to see this movie tonight in his first message, off I go”.


No sir. You ever seen a lifetime movie or 1,000 ways to die? Won’t be me. Bet.

Anyway, aside from the creepy men dropping in my messages (I’m usually nice and respond by politely declining, but I think I’ll just start ignoring or blocking all together), it’s been a pretty cool tool to use in expanding my social circles. I definitely recommend it….just maybe shut your messaging feature off (I believe you also get communications from your organizers in your email too), so you probably don’t technically need that feature turned on.


Weight Loss & Such

So for the past year or so, I’ve done pretty well with losing/maintaining weight. When I went for my physical a few months ago (right before I had lunch with this goofball–bad idea), my doctor was amazed that I had lost 50 lbs between February and November. She was also amazed to see that it seemed like my anxiety/depression was starting to level out thanks to proper medical management (little did she know I was faking the mental health aspect of my “progress” at the appointment).

Anyway, she asked how I did it and I simply told her I just paid more attention to what/how much I ate and *tried* to incorporate some sort of exercise into a few days of my week. Walking, running, dancing (badly), sex at one point…you know, things of that nature.

Of course, some recent events in my life have kind of derailed my focus in this area of my life and my focus at one pointed needed to be, “Did you eat something today? You need to eat.” or “Why are you eating that junk? Can’t you eat something non-processed“. Understandably, I needed to focus on taking care of my heart and mental/emotional health before even attempting to take on anything else of this consistent I sort of gave myself a pass through the holidays so as long as ate “something” everyday, because a few months back, I didn’t have much of an appetite at all.

Well, I weighed myself the other day for the first time since November and somehow, I’ve managed to maintain my weight even though I’ve completely come off of my health kick routine. Before I dated my ex, I had reduced my sugar intake, alcohol and coffee consumptions and most processed food (In fact…funny story, on our first date after he took me for beer and dinner, he also treated me to ice cream. The sugar content in the ice cream was so heavy that I got physically sick off of two spoonfuls).  I felt better during that time period than I ever had in my entire life and I’d like to get back there. I had more energy, I slept better and I was genuinely content. It also helped my anxiety and depression (which seemed to go dormant at the time).

I have no idea how I’ve even managed to maintain weight, let alone not gain any, but I guess lately even though I’ve been eating terribly, I’ve really only been basically eating one meal a day, just divided over different periods of the day. Take for instance the brunch I attended last Saturday… The sandwich and sweet potato fries I ordered was my first meal of the day. I consumed half of it there, walked around the perimeter of the art museum for 3 hours and ate the other half before heading out to game night later that evening, where I walked around a lot downtown. The day before that, I nibbled on produce at work (instead of eating lunch), because we had a two hour delay and I wanted to actually save room to savor the BBQ I planned to have later with the guys later (which I still didn’t finish) and last night, I went out for gourmet burgers and fries with my family, but again, I ate half of it and outside of an apple, it was basically the only thing I ate that day. So I guess the “give and take” method might be saving me right now.

Regardless, I still don’t feel “well” though and I’d like to. I need some sort of shock to my system. Like a reset of sorts. Ideally, I’d like to lose an additional 15-20 lbs and I think that’s possible if I get back on track.

While being super lazy on Sunday, I watched some youtube videos from bed. One of my more recent favorite youtube channels is the “TheOdd1sout“. He’s a super funny guy who uses animation to tell everyday stories from his life (the sooubway one is one of my favorites). Anyway, in one of his videos he describes the, “7 Day Vegan Challenge Baby (solves all your problems)”. In the video, he discusses how he took the challenge to eat a vegan diet for 7 days. See the video below:

While I found the video to be funny, I’ve been seriously thinking that challenge is something I’d like to do just to see if I can do it. I feel like it would be difficult, but it would help me to be more creative with food choices in situations where I’m attempting to eat a more plant based diet. Plus, it’s only a week, so by the time I got tired of it, It would be over.

I think I’m going to give this a shot as soon as my paycheck hits later this week–because I know some of this food may be pricey. I’ll have to write about it when I start and finish.

All I Want to Do is Eat

I have no idea what’s wrong with me, but lately (within the past 1-2 weeks), all I’ve wanted to do was eattttttttttt. Granted, I “eat”, but I’ve wanted to eat legit super shitty food…like this cookie bar I’m currently smashing after eating a BLT sandwich leftover from a meeting at work yesterday.


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