Brake Check.


rear view

I was driving to work a few hours ago after two glorious snow days at home (we got over a foot of snow in parts). My job was on a two-hour delay this morning, so I left a little later than my normal crack of dawn departure.

I was just minding my business when I noticed a car tailgating me. I was going about the speed limit (usually I go, at least bout 80″) and wasn’t in the left lane, so I wasn’t sure why this car didn’t just pass me (we were on a five lane highway with little to no traffic).

Anyway, after a few minutes of this and some passive aggressive brake checks, I merged over into another lane so that the person could pass me and that’s when I saw it. The car passing me wasn’t just any car, no, no, no…it was my Ex’s car. Of all of the one million people in the surrounding area to interact with on the highway, I would be just in the right place (or maybe wrong place?) to run into my ex (and almost literally).

Without getting into specifics, his car stands out pretty well and having spent a great deal of time with him in that car, I just knew it was his and it flew by me going about 90 mph before getting off of an exit. I’ll admit I was a bit stunned, but I guess not entirely, since he normally goes to work about the time he was riding up on my ass and we were around the area of town that he works in and we DO take the same route to work since we both work in the same city (different from the one we live in). Low and behold, it was indeed him:

brake check

We small talked for about an hour about the snow and work before the conversation died and we both lied about having to get back to work. So just like that, I killed my promise of not communicating with him in 2018….a smooth 19 days into the new year. Smh.

The one good thing about this encounter is that it didn’t trigger any warm and fuzzy feelings. After getting over being mildly annoyed by his driving, I didn’t really feel anything talking to him nor did I  *care* that much to know how he was doing. I mean, it’s great that he’s alive, but outside of that, I don’t care about the specifics.  It was nice that we small talked (I guess), but I don’t think it adds to the peace in my life right now as I said at the start of this new year.

Ok, we’re back to “days without communicating with ex”, 0…

If I ever catch him in traffic tailgating me again, I will aggressively brake check him so he rear ends me and has to buy me a new car. Ha, I’m kidding…sort of…


Life Lessons Learned @ Work

Yesterday, I stayed late at work for a monthly committee meeting. I mostly attended the meeting to show face, but I think attending this particular meeting changed my state of mind for the better.

I’ve been in a huge FUNK for most of this year actually and I wasn’t having a particularly great day emotionally (yesterday) either. Imagine my surprise when the topic of discussion at yesterday’s committee meeting was burn-out, depression and suicide rates among healthcare professionals. Not just young ones, but even ones in the range of their 60s and 70s.

It amazed me to learn that maybe…just MAYBE I’m not entirely alone in sometimes feeling “blue” or “defeated”. It can feel that way when you’re dealing with depression. It feels like the world is moving all around you and you’re just stuck in neutral. Working in healthcare alone can be pretty emotionally draining some days, never mind things going on in your actual personal life.

But it’s OK.

In the meeting, we discussed ways to recognize these signs of burn-out and depression among our peers and shared resources on places to seek help. We also discussed taking care of YOURSELF. So often do we get so caught up in our work priorities, that we forget to slow down and take care of ourselves. They mentioned even little things like being so caught up in work that you forget neglect to make doctor’s appointments for yourself (guilty). This has been on my “to-do” list since at least the summertime.

They even touched on mental health and how it’s such a huge phobia to deal with mental/behavior health issues as a healthcare professional because healthcare professionals are typically seen as being immune to having health issues in general. Not only is there a phobia within the field, but even within certain cultures/races, it’s just shoved under the rug as not being a legit “issue”.

Anyway. I felt rejuvenated after the committee meeting because it was like the universe knew I needed to hear these things. For the first time in about two weeks, I really feel like I’ll get over whatever this is and that it is ok sometimes to admit that, “hey, I’m not doing ok”.