A Pre-Proposal?

Yesterday, post some fun activities, The Teacher (as he’s been doing for a few weeks now) playfully removed my ring from my right ring finger. He jokingly pretended he was going to throw it across the room or intentionally lose it. My response to this silliness has simply been:

If you lose it, just make sure to buy me another one.

Except this time, he didn’t just hand it back.

You seem to really like this ring. Is that what you want? Another ring for Christmas?

At this point in the conversation, I wasn’t entirely sure what definition of “ring” he was really referring to. His tone seemed to be a bit more serious than previously, so was he referring to THE ring?

I nervously laughed and just said,

sure–I’d like a ring for Christmas, if that’s what you feel like buying.

He smiled and agreed to add it to his mental Christmas list for me, but then continued on to say:

…But I was planning on giving you ANOTHER type of ring around our anniversary.

I remember turning over slightly to look him in the eyes to see if hew as serious (I was previously laying my head on his chest).

Oh? Is that so? And just what TYPE of ring?

He smiled and went into this explanation on how he had been planning on giving me a ring (THE ring) a few months from now because it will mark our 2 year anniversary and what better way to celebrate our commitment to one another and to move to the next level in our relationship than to get engaged.

I was admittedly a bit taken aback and apologized if I spoiled what I assumed was something he wanted to be a surprise. He claimed that the “act/event” of giving me the ring itself would still be a “surprise”, but that he wanted to inform me several months in advance because he wanted to know my ring preferences. Admittedly, outside of the fashion rings I occasionally wear, I’ve really never thought about it and I’ve especially not discussed my ring preferences with him at any point.

I’m both shocked and relieved, if that’s even possible. Lately, I’ve had a bit of the marriage mouse nipping at me and reminding me how everyone and their brother has been getting married and having babies and I’m not getting any younger (social media is to blame for that). Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy with the state of my current relationship, but sometimes an overload of those life events can get in your head. I’ve very recently (maybe in the past few weeks) started to think about what it would be like to be married to The Teacher and now I realistically get to put real thought into it. Like, will I change my last name? Where would we get married? Who would we invite? I’m almost afraid to get excited about it, so maybe I’ll pull back on all of that for right now.

I’m also surprised that he just flat out told me that he plans to propose specifically “around” our anniversary…which is in four months! The anticipation of that moment is now going to eat away at me for the next few months. I also feel kind of weird picking out a ring (though I appreciate him considering my opinion, since he said, “you’re the one that will be wearing it after all” ). How do I even do that? Do we do that together? Do I go alone to a store? Do I just google images online and text/email them to him? Are pre-proposals even a thing? Do couples sort of alert one another that they plan to propose, but a few weeks or months down the road? Granted, we’ve discussed that we both believe in marriage and that we’d hypothetically like to be married (someday), but until last night, nothing was ever explicitly said about the specifics.

All I know is, I at least have some heads up about it and can plan accordingly–i.e. I can make sure I don’t look a raggedy mess when the time comes and I can make sure to have my nails done. Will I still be shocked though? I suppose I’d be shocked regardless.